Friday Farm Life

Or what to do when faced by a bull

Beef cattle can be touchy. Momma cows, right after they calve downright belligerent. But who can blame them? 

Here she is tired but happy after the Blessed Event. Then a biped shows up and sprays nasty smelling liquid on the navel of her Bundle of Joy. 

The situation can lead to an event rodeo folk call Freight Trained, run over by a cow at top speed.

The bull has the same attitude. Corner him and someone’s going to get hurt. First off, they’re bigger, got that

muscle roll behind their ears, and sex is on their mind. Not a lot of give in that kind of beast. Especially when the last is in play.

We don’t keep cows or bulls that turn mean. Nothing is worth injury or our lives. Still you never know what might happen even with a semi-docile critter.

Yesterday we had to get the bull in, a fine red Angus three year old 2 ton feller who felt his dignity was on the line. Not really a belligerent bull but he had his share of pride and character. 

I stood in the corral about six feet from the gate while the hubby tried to separate the bull from a cow and calf. He was on the four-wheeler giving him some protection and authority. But the bull was in an arguing mood. He got away from the hubby and came charging at me.

Head down, eyes on the surest path out. 

And that was through me.

So what do you do? Here are your choices:

• Turn and try to make it over the fence. Hell no. Expect to be freight trained.
• Freeze and scream. Interesting prospect but expect to be freight trained, only backwards.
• Take a step toward the bull, raise you arms like a psychotic scarecrow, and roar. Bingo. That is what I did.

Bull stopped so close that I could have slapped his nose. However, I showed common sense and did not. He dipped his head and I yelled again. The sound coming out of my mouth would have impressed a Boeing 747.

He turned and fled and my hubby said in a low voice, “Maybe you might want to get on the other side of the gate now.”

Bull was separated. My throat hurts. And I have shaky legs.

Ah, life on a cattle farm.