Is this writer's community great or what!
My Logline for The Magic Withheld
Justus is a clandestine wizard who must choose between surrendering his freedom to the guild of wizards or use the magic born to him. Either way, he will lose what he values most and gain a power he did not want.
Hi - I love his name. Sounds like an exciting idea. I'm curious - Is this taking place in current day?
ReplyDeleteInteresting! I'm left wanting more specifics about why he must choose one over the other.
ReplyDeleteHmm, interesting. But is there one event that starts the ball rolling? And what is his goal? The conflict and stakes are quite clear, and intriguing. Tell us more.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
Vicki
Clandestine wizard Justus must choose between surrendering his freedom to the guild of wizards or using the magic born to him. Either way, he will lose what he values most and gain a power he did not want.
ReplyDeleteWhy must he make a choice? What does he value most? I think answering these questions will add much needed specifics to your logline. Good luck!
Nicole's re-write was helpful. I was a bit confused on the Justus' choice. Is there a way to clarify the intensity of why this choice is crucial, what he has at stack with the choices? Is there a ticking clock in the background we can use to crank up the tension?
ReplyDeleteLove wizard books!
uhm that was stake obviously and not stack... fingers, head, brain cells on vacation apparently. :-)
ReplyDeleteI like the idea! I'm intrigued :D But some more details would be nice. Perhaps the event that sets everything in motion? When this and this happens, clandestine wizard Justus... :)
ReplyDeleteClandestine - from the general non-wizarding public I assume? The guild knows about him so he can't be too under cover. Other than that, I (like the others) just want to know why he must make a choice.
ReplyDeleteI like the premise here, but I'm going to agree with some of the other comments in that I think some more details would really punch this up. Why the choice? What's at stake? What will he lose/gain? Your details is what's going to set this apart and make it awesome :)
ReplyDeleteI like this, but I think I'd like it better if I knew what it is he values most. Give us a little more info on what he'd be losing.
ReplyDeleteHi, sounds intriguing. I'd agree with Marieke I think :) Good luck with it.
ReplyDeleteRach
I agree with Roh Morgon. I'm intrigued, but not really sure why....
ReplyDeleteGood Luck!
The idea seems similar to Trudy Cavanan's Black Magician Trilogy. So you need to add some crucial details that will set it apart. I like the idea a lot though.
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to keep it the way it is without adding anything else then I'd just say change "use" to "using" in "or use the magic born to him" and possibly change the "did" to "does" in "a power he did not want".
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this :-)