Friday, January 6, 2012

Because it's Friday


This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you are watching the game and been told to help around the house.

This is the calm before the storm. This means something. Not ‘nothing’ and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in Fine.

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. Loud Sigh means you are an idiot and she is wondering why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to Nothing.) 

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements known to mankind. That's okay means the shovel is already in her hand. She is deciding where to hide the body.

If a woman thanks you, do not question, or faint. Just say, “You're welcome”.

Unless she adds, Thanks a lot - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. Tread carefully and for heaven sake, do not say, “You're welcome”. That will bring on a Whatever.

Is a woman's way of saying F*** YOU.

Don't worry. I got it.
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response, refer to Nothing.

Variations include Get Out of My Way and The Ketchup’s Right In Front of You.


  1. I'm forwarding this to my husband! You nailed it.

  2. Those are so accurate! The last one means 'get in here now and help me!'

  3. Nobody can use the word "fine" to mean the opposite better than a woman can. ;)

  4. @Charity
    This list has gone around the internet for years. I tweaked it a bit.

    Alas! I have said every one of these.Often

    Practice make perfect. Lord knows, after using all of these, perfection is at hand.

  5. Oh dear. These are so on point it's scary. Very scary. It's boggling my mind how many married men haven't figured these out...not a big secret lol!!!


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