Resistance is Futile

(is it 'fu till' or fuTILE? Gotta be a fantasy/sci fi enthusiast to appreciate the difference)

It started on Groundhog Day, my whole-house remodeling.

Btw, anyone interested in a slightly used, 93 year old claw foot cast iron tub (300 lbs), matching pedestal sink, and kitchen sink with drain? U pick Up.

The lessons learned are many. Most of it is in patience. Because there is a lot of waiting involved. 

Waiting

Waiting for the concrete to cure.
Waiting for the contractor to finish another job.

Waiting on the kitchen cabinets to arrive.

Now I'm waiting for the countertop guy.

Then I'll be waiting for the installation of the backsplash.

After that, YAY! I can actually use my new kitchen.

Until then, Unicorn Bell and our query contest takes precedence. Our Schools In is going very well. I am humbled by the company I keep. The other moderators amaze me and I feel that I am left in their dust.

Also - as if I don't have anything to do - I am taking part in a new blog fest over at Alex's House. 

               

Genre Favorites Blogfest, September 17, 2012

One blogfest, four favorites!

List your favorite genre of:

Movie

Music

Books

And a guilty pleasure genre from any of the three categories!

Is everyone having a great summer? Ready for more fun?

Query School is In Session

The bell just rang over at Unicorn Bell and the students are taking their seats. Turn off your cell phones and quit passing notes cuz it is time to begin our lessons.

Check out the schedule above and come join us. At the end of this three week course, editors from small publishers will judge your term papers, er, queries and who knows, maybe lightning will strike.

At least it is a chance to improve your writing and craft a great query.

So slip over and check it out. Multiple post per day with one of the worst query examples ever (mine*gag*) on tap for later today.

SQUIRREL!!

Several months ago, Hope Roberson wrote a post that absolutely nailed human nature. No matter how determined a person, shiny objects will find a way to divert our attention from the goal.

Re-modeling our house is a journey filled with Squirrel!

My days start with goals in mind but soon I find myself beguiled by the call of my personal sirens.  

And editing my manuscript, writing, posting on my blog, and cruising my friends’ blogs wither like my houseplants without water.

I have the lemon tree I started from seed to prove it. Poor thing. I hate when they lay flat on the soil in a faint like that.

But today - walking the blogs without coffee and mostly dressed - nothing will divert my attention from blogging. Not the hubby with his Hey look! Randy Travis got arrested drunk and totally naked. Or the cat complaining that she has been without food for fifteen minutes.

Two contests!

DL Hammons is holding a cool diversion for writers, a fight club. Just what we need. Submit a 500-word excerpt of your writing and pit it against other writers. Vote for the ones that catch your interest.

The other contest is our own Unicorn Bell. Next week we begin the lead up to School’s In, Query Contest with the publishing world judging the results.

Be aware of the Squirrel ! in our DNA. But don’t let the side trips keep you from your personal goals.

What Squirrel!s are out there for you?

Tagged! By Golly

Magic 8

Marcy tagged me for this fun little meme which comes with a few 'rules.'

1. Link back to the originator

2.  Share an excerpt from your current WIP, perhaps something you're struggling with, are stuck on, or just can't "get right."

3.  Ask a question about your excerpt.  It can be something easy such as "What do you think?" or something more in-depth, such as "Can you suggest a better way to word such-and-such," or "How can I make the emotions in this scene more realistic?" My current WIP is currently in revisions so I'm not sure if I have anything I need help with - yet! But, here's the first 200 words and if anyone has any comments/suggestions feel free!

      For a ghost, lying is like a verbal tango. For the length of the dance, they become lovers, concentrating only on their partners, ready to improvise. Swerve. Dip. Graceful.

And slide the knife home.

Marv, the recently deceased, had his moves down pat. His elegant lies interwove through my prodding like sensual dance steps.

But time was running out and this apparition was pissing me off.

Ghosts look as real to me as my living, breathing colleague, Thorne, a transplant from Australia. He stirred and uttered a low curse. Marv’s smile brightened.

“Smallest violin, Di,” Marv said rubbing his thumb and forefinger together. “Compel me, make promises. Come on, you can’t do nothing to me. Not anymore.”

He gestured. “Won’t that mess up your nail polish?”

I forced my hands to relax.

Marv laughed outright and gave an elaborate bow. His green and red plaid vest hugged his trim waist. “Oh, wow,” he deadpanned. “Next you’ll threaten me with ‘you’re a dead man’.”

Thorne gave in and snarled something unintelligible then glanced at a slim woman caught in the act of giving him the eye. With his blond hair and svelte physique, Thorne turned many a gal’s head. But this time, his face made her quicken her steps.

4.  Tag 8 people:

1000^th Monkey

Michael Offutt

David Powers King

Aimee L. Salter

RJRDaydreamer

Rusty Webb

Jenn June

Donna Hole

Have fun!

It is to Laugh (slightly risque)

Joe came across a Harley with a 'for sale' sign on it. The bike was ten years old but in mint condition, shiny without a flaw.

He bought it then asked the seller how he kept the motorcycle is such great shape.

'Well, it's quite simple, really,' said the seller. 'Whenever it's gonna rain, I rub Vaseline on the chrome. That protects it from the rain.'

And he handed Joe a jar of Vaseline.

That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invited him to meet her parents. Naturally, they take the bike. But just before they enter the house, Sandra stopped him.

'I have to tell you something about my family before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'

'No problem,' he says. And in they go.

Joe is shocked. In the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the kitchen, piled on the countertops are greasy pots and pans. In the corridor, on the stairs, everywhere he looks food-encrusted dinnerware.

They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word.

Dinner progressed. Then Joe smirked, leaned over, and kissed Sandra.

Silence. He reached over and fondled her breasts. Still, nobody said a word. So he stood, ripped her clothes off, threw her on the table, and screwed her right there in front of her parents.

His girlfriend is flustered, her dad livid, and her mom horrified as he sits back down. But no one said a word.

He eyed Sandra’s mom. 'She's got a great body,' he thinks. So he grabs the mom, bends her over the dinner table, and has his way with her.

Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, but still, total silence.

Into the silent dining room sounds a clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his pocket....

The father jumped away from the table. “Okay! I'll do the f****** dishes.”