Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful Queen with large, voluptuous breasts.
Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the Queen for this reason. He knew the penalty would be death should he try to touch them. But he had to try.
One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician. Horatio said that he could arrange for Nick to satisfy his desire but it would cost him 1000 gold coins to arrange it.
Without pause, Nick agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio made a batch of itching powder and poured a bit into the Queen's bra while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. The King summoned Horatio to the Royal Chambers to cure the Queen.
He informed them that only special saliva applied for four hours would cure this type of itch. And among all of the citizens of the kingdom, only the saliva of Nick would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King, eager to help his Queen, quickly summoned Nick to their chambers. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's large and magnificent breasts.
The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, Nick left satisfied, and both the King and Queen hailed him as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick found Horatio demanding his payment of 1000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied and knowing that Horatio would never report this matter to the King, Nick told him to get lost.
The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick . . .
The moral of the story:
Pay your bills.